The Water Taxi to Nowhere

It’s Monday morning, and you’re late for work again. Not to worry, it’s a short water taxi ride into town. You grab the first one available, and, after about ten seconds, you’ve arrived at your destination. Don’t bother paying – the government’s got your fare covered. Step out of your cab, and breathe in the crisp ocean air. Ahhh! This is the life, ain’t it? And it would truly be yours too if you were a resident of Pleasure Beach, Connecticut. Why yes, the 2009 omnibus spending bill earmarks nearly $2 million to the Pleasure Beach Water Taxi Service for the convenience of those who live on this beach. The problem is that Pleasure Beach has no residents – in fact, it’s an officially registered ghost town on ghosttowns.com. After a fire in 1996 that burned down the bridge connecting the beach to the mainland, the beach’s forty or so cottages were boarded up and abandoned. Any Google or YouTube search will show you dilapidated home after dilapidated home, and those not rundown were destroyed outright by vandals. In 1994, before the devastating fire, the Connecticut Department of Transportation offered federal and state funding to build a new bridge to replace the tottering, seventy year old wooden bridge. Instead of welcoming the funds with open arms, the town of Bridgeport displayed apathy by failing to respond to the offer in time. When neighboring town Stratford held a public hearing to discuss the possibility of constructing a new bridge, council member “Doc” Gunther grunted, “Why build a bridge to Pleasure Beach? No one ever goes there.” More recently, the mayor of Stratford remarked in 2008 that those who were pursuing a taxi system were “wasting their time”. Pleasure Beach is a prime example of puzzling government inefficiencies. In order to get the $2 million in water taxi earmarks, the City of Bridgeport spent $500,000 lobbying members of Congress, a quarter of the amount later granted. Moreover, the amount spent lobbying is nearly twice the amount needed for a 2002 city council plan that would have brought a pair of water taxis to the area for $272,000. For more than a decade, the beach has been closed to avoid illegal activities and further damage to existing buildings. This, of course, had not stopped adventurous ghost-town explorers from venturing across the channel. If you wanted to go, there’s little stopping you – a mere 250 feet of water separates the city from the beach. Not a good swimmer? Not to worry, you can walk. Pleasure Beach is not on an island, but rather a peninsula, only a one mile stroll to the mainland. Despite its accessibility, water taxi service to the abandoned beach should start soon. The $2 million-dollar taxis will be used for short trips – assuming the industry standard of water taxi speeds, they should be able to ferry individuals across the straight in less than ten seconds. Not convinced that this constitutes government waste? Well, you can mull it over in comfort on the other beaches in the area: Seaside Park, Saint Mary’s by the Sea Park, Long Beach Park and Short Beach Park are all located within the surrounding communities. Say what you will – I’d rather see this whale of an earmark beached.