The Prowl: The Politics of Infidelity

Newt Gingrich has had three marriages and an affair. Does his stance on social issues make these private matters fair game in the public arena?

As many of you are aware, this week Newt Gingrich announced that he is sort of maybe running for president.  He’ll let us all know; but he is definitely thinking it over and has created a website.

One question I’m certain everyone will be keen to ask is how Newt plans to grapple with his blatant hypocrisy and convince Republican primary voters that his moral fiber is tougher than the other contenders, and clearly tougher than the sitting president's.  By this, of course, I’m referring to his three marriages and his affair.  How will he reconcile these facts from his personal life with his involvement in the Clinton impeachment, and really more importantly, with his stance on gay marriage and other social issues that center on the sanctity of marriage and the importance of certain virtues?

I bring this up not simply as partisan fodder and with full recognition of human fallibility.  To err is only natural, and like the former Speaker, I too once cheated on a boyfriend.  While the details are not overly interesting for those not involved, essentially, I knew that I was moving away and breaking up with my boyfriend.  A friend had made perhaps an overly aggressive move to shed his platonic status.  One thing lead to another, as they do, and I slept over one night when I probably should have just gone home.  Of course it seemed actually more complex than this at the time, but that is basically what happened.  Afterward I felt more worried by my lack of guilt about the whole thing and took this as an indication that I should probably just break up with my boyfriend.  And I did; although I did not tell him, an act that just seemed self-indulgent and more aimed at my own absolution than anything relating to him.

The difference between myself and Gingrich, however, at least in just this one case, is that I was in college, was not married, and did not have to resign from anything in disgrace.  This is not to say that there weren't consequences because there were (kind of) and they were deserved (and no, not just because I got caught -- because I didn't).  This of course is all a means to suggest that not all cheating is equal, and given that I have never publicly shamed someone for not being faithful or said that their relationship was not worthy of recognition, I would say that mine, if we think about this in a nuanced way, is fundamentally different.

I bring up my own infidelity, mild as it was, to make the point that I do not claim to be any sort of moral leader for America as a whole.  I have never asked people to elevate me into public life or to be held to a higher standard, and frankly don’t plan to do so in the future (I don’t see how that would ever go well for me or anyone else).  There is an argument to be made that what our politicians do in the privacy of their homes should be of no concern to voters and should be outside the realm of what we are asked to care about while vetting them.  This is an argument I can only accept to a point, because if certain actions really did fall outside the public arena, then why would those same people seek to publicly scrutinize and demonize the private behaviors of others, whether straight or otherwise.  It is this double standard that leads to sensational news headlines when those who are the most outspoken about the life decisions of others fall from grace themselves (i.e. Gingrich).

With that, I wish the Speaker the best of luck in his presidential bid and hope that voters in Iowa and New Hampshire and beyond are able to somehow bring into concert his private life and public persona.

Hint: I hear that the answer may have something to do with winning the future.

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