The Fat Diaries: Eating Green on St. Patty's Day
It’s March, folks! Time to break out the green food coloring!
Seriously, what is America’s obsession with turning everything a vomit-inducing shade of neon green for St. Patrick’s Day? One would almost think it was reverse psychology to make food less appealing, yet hundreds of companies and hundreds of chains and even public schools and offices cave into this impulse to make sure everyone is sporting green on St. Patrick’s Day… at least on our tongues.
I personally was never into this fad. I never liked the clover-shaped cookies with green sugar on them, and I’m a self-professed cookie addict! Green scrambled eggs made me want to barf as did green bread, green pretzels and (shudder) green beer.
My paternal grandmother is Irish-American so in my house we celebrate our Irish heritage with corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, brown soda bread, and Guinness. I’m not saying it’s more authentic or better for me. It’s just not green -- even the cabbage has wilted to a healthy traditional brown.
That’s probably why I felt like I’d been living in a cave for the last few decades when everyone on Twitter started buzzing about green-colored food item. The Shamrock Shake is making the rounds again at McDonald’s. I’d never heard of this shake before, so I seriously had no clue what was going on when people were tweeting in all-caps “I FOUND THE SHAMROCK SHAKE!!!1 m/ (>.<) m/”.
Apparently this phenomenon has been at Mickey D’s since 1970 when the chain unveiled a green minty-flavored milkshake as a seasonal St. Patrick’s Day beverage. It’s been credited as a forerunner of fast food gimmicky seasonal drinks like the pumpkin spice latte and the eggnog shake.
The Shamrock Shake disappeared for a while in the 90’s but resurfaced recently to a nationwide clamor. It has a rabid following similar to the mythical “McRib” trackers. During my research, I actually stumbled across a website which is solely dedicated to finding locations that sell the Shamrock Shake. Chaucer-like pilgrimages are then formed to venture out to McDonald’s restaurants miles away. Most fans are people who had it in their childhood and long for that misty-eyed nostalgia. Some simply like finding something that’s rare and available for a limited time only. Some people (like me) are simply curious to see what they’ve been missing.
Steeling myself for the worst, I decided to check up on the nutritional information first. At first glance I wasn’t too worried. A 12 oz shake was 420 calories, but that was better than some milkshakes you read about that are around 1,000 calories. Then I looked at sugar content and stopped dead. There were 60 grams of sugar in a shake. I quickly messaged my food-scientist friend and asked, “Quick, what does 60 g of sugar look like?” She answered that it was roughly one-third of a cup’s worth. Ewwww.
Well, I decided that I wouldn’t have to finish it all, and asked my husband to pick up a Shamrock Shake. I have to give my husband credit for running out to fast-food places for the weirdest things and at the worst hours so I can write these articles (Yay, Joe!)
“Here’s your toothpaste-flavored milkshake,” he said handing it too me. It was the obnoxious shade of green I was expecting, topped with whipped cream and a cherry. My first few sips were pretty pleasant. It was cool and minty and creamy. After I’d finished an inch or so, however, the refreshing part departed and I was gagging on the sweetness. All I could taste was sweet. Soon I was feeling as green as the milkshake and wishing the sugary film on my teeth would go away. So it was pretty good at first, but 8oz was too much for me. More than half of the shake went down the sink by the time I was done with it. Ideally, I would get one of these, add a little whiskey and share it with 3 other friends. That seems more in the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day.
If you really want a green minty St. Patrick’s Day drink, rather than fall victim to high gas prices, why not make your own shake? All it really takes is milk, mint extract and ice cream. You could even add the food coloring if you really have to. I made my own version today to compare. I used a lot less sugar and low fat ice cream so I felt daring enough to attempt a mint-cookie garnish on top. Grace each cup with a gelt coin on the rim, and serve to your friends. Whiskey is optional, but who am I to snub tradition?
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