Summer Romance: Why You Should Not Diss Online Dating
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I am happy to report that my crush on Mr. C has paled. Sure, my heart still flutters and my cheeks flush when I'm in his general presence, and I nearly fainted when he called me “darling” this morning, but there's less obsessing. This return to sanity can undoubtedly be attributed to my recent adventures in online dating.
Online dating seems to set you on an exponential dating path by which each date brings better conversation, better food, more attraction, and more promise for a future relationship.
Every date I’ve been on since the awful check debacle with the Bulgarian has been truly enjoyable. Enjoying online dating requires practice. It is initially hard to come to terms with some men not wanting to see you again. It is equally as hard to let down a really good guy who just didn’t fit the bill. But the mystery of attraction is compelling and – if you approach each date with the right mindset – often rewarding.
The mindset necessary to enjoy meeting intriguing strangers on a nightly basis is pretty simple: go into each date with zero expectations. Chances are, your future spouse is not going to be the sexy photographer or yoga instructor who first attracted you by referencing George Orwell’s Homage to Catalonia in his “Personal Summary.” Sure, there’s a chance cosmic forces could collide and you, the WASP from New England, could be completely swept away by this sensitive, soulful hipster, but it’s highly unlikely. That being said, lack of cosmic forces colliding should not dissuade the WASP from a first date.
This past Monday, I went on a date with someone very much like the aforementioned soulful hipster. We’ll call him J. J requested that we meet at a very trendy, mood-lit bar at 9:30 so that he would have time to shower after his meditation class ended at 9. Needless to say, he's no future potential. However, being a subscriber to the school of What Do You Have to Lose?, I went on the date anyway. J arrived famished from all his mediating and suggested that we hop over to the little Ethiopian restaurant on the corner.
Ethiopian cuisine is exceptional, by the way. Something I never knew before Monday night’s outing.
The food was spectacular and the conversation was surprisingly non-mellow. This guy was a flaming liberal. Despite being a left-wing sympathizer myself, the only people I find more irritatingly stupid than Tea Partiers are wacky, anti-capitalist liberals who think fish farming is our generation’s greatest barbarity. J, however, was a rare breed of flaming liberal. He was, after all, relatively knowledgeable and articulate, despite his bombastic yelling.
Being a lover of debate and conversation, I did not let his assertion that “Communism never failed because it was never tried” go unchallenged. It was tense, but fun. After dinner, a glass of delicious Ethiopian honey wine helped calm our nerves and we went for a walk. We talked about religion and he shared some very interesting, thought-provoking views on the situation in Israel.
At the end of the night, J walked me to my front door and I awkwardly dodged an attempted kiss. He thankfully got the hint and we said our goodbyes.
“How was the date?” my roommate asked as I walked through the front door.
“Fantastic!”
“Oh great, so when are you seeing him again?”
“I’m not.”
Had I have failed to cultivate the right mindset, chances are I would have been in a much less upbeat mood. Subsequent dates have unfolded in a similar fashion and I’m quickly becoming the biggest advocate of online dating. So, get out there and date! Don’t do it to find “The One” -- do it to eat something mouthwatering and learn a thing or two about housing reform in Tel Aviv.