When the Students are Away, the Teachers Will Play
Most parents assume that the week that teachers spend inside of schools before the students return is one of production: preparing lesson plans, working with fellow teachers and faculty members to focus on strategy, and other miscellany.
If you are not outraged by the following report, then you are not a taxpayer.
My mother and uncle, both of whom work within the school system, told me, grimacingly, that the following activities were partaken in during the preparatory week at North Hagerstown High School.
1) Dozens of teachers and faculty members were brought into the school's rather large gymnasium and organized into a circle. As an 'icebreaking' activity, they were told by the principal, who stood in the middle of the circle, that she would call out random activities and events that staff may have once partaken in. "Have you ever volunteered for something?" is a typical question. If so, the staff member -- remember, staff members in their forties, fifties, and sixties -- were to run into the middle of the circle, jump up and down five times, and high five their fellow faculty members.
2) The same dozens were brought into the auditorium and watched the film Surf's Up! in its entirety, while writing down answers to questions about the character traits of the various surfing penguins in the film. Why surfing penguins? Well, because that's what the film is about. It's a children's film. You may be wondering why middle-aged people would be spending ninety minutes on the taxpayer's dime watching a film about surfing penguins. It's a valid question. My mother explained the motivation of the principal: this year's theme, you see, is "riding the wave to success," and it's a great film about "not giving up." And thus, catastrophe was narrowly averted: teachers who would have otherwise told children to give up were stopped in advance by the surfing penguins.
3) Games were played, including the throwing of rings onto various objects to score points. The points could be exchanged for something or other. The details are insignificant; the fact that this is going on is beyond preposterous. Another activity included breaking up into groups and separating into sub-groups by questions such as "Are you a non-conformist or a team player?"
Literally thousands of dollars were spent paying these people during these days. And to think that this is an isolated example would be naive.
You might now be wondering: what were the attitudes of the participants? Aren't these people adults? What did they say?
According to my mother and uncle, who refused to participate in some of the activities and grudgingly made their way through others, they were generally shockingly complacent. It's a stunning example of groupthink, in fact: Almost invariably, the teachers jumped up and down and high-fived each other, watched the penguin film enthusiastically, and played the games without question.
It's rather pathetic that I have to add this explanation, but: We have a right to know what our government is up to, and we have a right to hold them accountable. We have a right to know how our teachers are spending their time in the weeks leading up to the opening of school. We the taxpayers are responsible for their salaries. If they're throwing rings around sticks, watching penguin movies, and jumping up and down giving each other high-fives during ice breakers, then that should be out in the open.
Do you really want to know why our education system is in turmoil? Because our nation's teachers are too busy watching movies about surfing penguins.
Image courtesy of Sony Pictures Entertainment, Columbia Pictures.