We Watch Palin (One Last Time) So You Don't Have To

Written by Noah Kristula-Green on Sunday January 9, 2011

Join FF as we liveblog the Palins sometimes bizarre but always entertaining exploits on tonight's two-hour finale of Sarah Palin's Alaska

Update at 10:20pm:

A commentator identifies the radio show where Palin promises to announce whether or not she will run for President:

http://www.bobandmark.com/

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Update at 10:00pm:

Ahh.... so Palin promises that if she does (or does not) run for President, it will be announced on a radio program in Alaska called Bob and Mark's morning show. (I couldn't catch the name of the actual radio channel.)

And with that, its over.

TLC switches gears to "William, Kate, and 8 Royal Weddings." Must find something else to watch…

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Update at 9:52pm:

TLC is really milking this radio interview where Palin is asked whether she will run for President in 2012. My guess is that its going to come up only in the last minutes of the show.

There has been very little "unseen footage" during this final episode so far, I decry the false advertising!

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Update at 9:43pm:

So far there is no significant footage that we haven't seen.

Though we do learn that there is a woman who lives at the logging camp (featured in a previous episode) who named her baby "Palin".

Twenty minutes left, and we now have to wait and see what the Palin's have to say about Kate Gosselin. (Also known as the only person to attract more criticism than Palin.)

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Update at 9:29pm:

So what were some things that didn't make the final cut of the show? One casualty was the Alaskan Department of Fish & Game, which helps set fishing quotas in the state.

Now this is actually interesting, but its clear why this wasn't broadcasted earlier. TLC producers get credit for taking an interest in this though.

30 minutes in, and the episode is essentially a clip show. Hopefully Palin will announce that she plans to run for President during the montage sequence to make it worth it.

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Update at 9:20pm:

So the format for this final episode is a series of joint confessionals with Palin interviewing members of her family about what they enjoyed most about their escapades with TLC.

And of course, Palin attacks critics who claim that some of the opening footage (this is the footage where the family encountered some grizzly bears on the river) was photoshopped.

There ought to be a drinking game where you take a shot every time Palin gets defensive about the show.

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Update at 9:11pm:

So we are into the final hour of Sarah Palin's Alaska, and we open up with Palin and her dad discussing the caribou hunting episode.

Quite a bit of time is given to having Palin and her dad discuss the "criticism" that she received because of her caribou hunting episode. They also address the accusations that people have made that Palin isn't a real hunter.

But hold on Sarah, I thought you just said in the previous episode that you don't let any criticisms stick to you? Why the inconsistency?!

They are also padding out this final hour with montage sequences. Many montage sequences.

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Update at 9:04pm:

Palin comments that she will be giving her father a very restrained piece of jewelry (just a plaque, not a ring)since "he doesn't wear his bling bling",

Palin of course is wearing a rather bilngy American flag lapel pin on her jacket for this entire episode.

Palin also claims that she lets the criticisms of her "just roll off". The evidence on this point is inconclusive at best.

And of course, the final hour of the show opens up with a "Viewer Discretion Advised" warning. That means we get to see more animal decapitations!

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Update at 8:54pm:

At this point in the episode, Piper and Palin are making jewelry out of the gold that they have gotten to make gifts for Palin's parents anniversary.

Also, the commercials for the "Extra footage" after the first hour are up, and it promises to show us a radio producer asking Palin if she plans to run for President. Will she say yes?!

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Update at 8:48pm:

Palin and her family come across a herd of Muscox! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskox)

And in one of the strangest moments of the serious so far, Palin adapts her "Mamma Grizzly" metaphor to the Muscox. We are then treated to a series of elaborate "Mamma Muscox" ramblings.

Because, like many other mammals, Muscox also protect their young! Get it?

And she also comments that she must be the only governor in America who understand what society can learn from the noble Muscox.

FrumForum isn't anti-Muscox, it just seems that Palin is trying to stretch a metaphor a bit too far here.

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Update at 8:38pm:

We start up after the commercial break with Palin ironical noting that camping out on the beach in a tent for a reality show is really "all diva".

Seriously, can she ever let go of any of the criticism that gets made of her? It doesn't help her to move on if you keep reminding us about criticisms about you that you think are unfair.

Back to the show we get to see a more dangerous and difficult version of gold mining--underwater gold mining. During this sequence, Palin's brother actually puts on scuba gear and goes with a giant vacuum to pick up the gold in the frigid waters.

Normally, we criticize Palin for not having done any of the activities on the show before, but in this case, we'll give her a pass.

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Update at 8:33pm:

People who regularly read this liveblog knows that we always appreciate it when Piper Palin hints that she understand Sarah rather well. During some banter among clan Palin, we get this little exchange

Palin: "Piper's wild"

Piper: "You're crazy"

Piper also shows a great entrepreneurial spirit, blithely declaring that she plans to sell the gold she gets from the beach for a mere $80,000 on ebay.

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Update at 8:25pm:

Piper is the only member of the Palin family who ever shows any initiative in these episodes. During the preview, we see Palin is slightly annoyed by Piper's entrepreneurial spirit:

Piper: "I'm going to see all this gold on Ebay!"

Palin: "We haven't discussed that"

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Update at 8:21pm:

So yeah, Palin narrates how dangerous is it that they are walking on ice that can fall beneath them, while Piper is just charging ahead

And on the way back we return to the Trans-Alaskan oil pipeline. After watching this show for six weeks, I was sure Palin would make a crack against conservationists, and she doesn't disappoint:

"People say that man's activity prevents the animals from enjoying wildlife, no they enjoy man's activity."

You be the judge of that one.

Sarah Palin to Piper while driving one of the boats near the pipeline, we also saw quite a few seals (or possibly sea otters, my memory on this is a bit fuzzy) swimming around. Palin's advice to Piper when she takes the wheel: "Don't hit a seal."

Good to know she's concerned!

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Update at 8:09pm:

Ok, today we open up our grand finale with an introduction to Palin's parents, and we start up at a petting zoo, with reindeers!

Palin comments while trying to feed the reindeer: "Do they kick back?"

Since tonight's episode is about Piper, Piper and Palin fly out to the town of Valdeze to do prospecting for gold. As they fly there, the plane passes over the Trans-Alaskan oil pipeline. Palin begins going into advertisement mode about how great the pipeline is, and asks Piper if she knows where the pipeline ends.

"In the water?" She responds. Palin take umbrage at Piper's lack of knowledge at this important component of Alaska's economy.

And yeah, Palin is going Kayaking with Piper near a bunch of rocks that might fall on them, safety first!

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Tonight is the two hour finale of Sarah Palin's Alaska! Since the third episode of this miniseries, FrumForum had dutifully watched cataloged the "adventures" of Palin's family as they travel around Alaska to hunt caribou, gut fish, pan for gold, and race around in neon pink stockers. We have been impressed by those rare moments when Palin's family members admit that they've never done any of this before. We have also enjoyed the chance to see Palin's political resentment on full display in even the most unexpected of situations. ("Don't conservationists know that we use trees to make the pencils that they use to write angry letters with?!")

It is true that the news of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords shooting has brought Palin back into the news over the weekend because Giffords was on SarahPAC's infamous "Bullseye" graphic. (Not our words, but Palin's) While there are serious questions raised about Palin's political rhetoric, tonight we won't focus on that. Tonight we will focus, for what will unfortunately be the last time on the sometimes bizarre but always entertaining exploits of the Palin family.

Tonight: Piper Palin tries to sell gold on eBay!

Also tonight's episode begins one hour earlier than usual, 8PM ET on TLC.

Categories: FF Spotlight News