The Speaker Speaks

NewMajority has learned of the following letter, allegedly from Speaker Pelosi to the noted dictionary publisher, Merriam-Webster. We wondered, “Can it be real?” Nah, we concluded, “this must be an appalling counterfeit concocted by some dullard to annoy the speaker.” We are simply passing along the suspicious document for your evaluation as to any truths it might accidentally contain.

NewMajority has learned of the following letter, allegedly from Speaker Pelosi to the noted dictionary publisher, Merriam-Webster. We wondered, “Can it be real?” Nah, we concluded, “this must be an appalling counterfeit concocted by some dullard to annoy the speaker.” Then we wondered, “Can it be something even less?” We are simply passing along the suspicious document for your evaluation as to any truths it might accidentally contain. 1. Entry: government-run   Pronunciation:  gov-urn-ment  run.  Function:  combination word common to discussions of federal programs Old Definitions (1) operated as part of the act or process of governing specifically: authoritative direction or control, (2) obsolete use: mailings about Democratic health care policy New Definition (1) public option 2. Entry: choose   Pronunciation:  chewz. Old Definition (1) to select freely after consideration; (2) to decide Obsolete use: after 2014, any construction employing the word, “free,” and the words, “health” and “care;” i.e., “He was free to choose his own health care.” New Definitions (1) to take what you are given by the Secretary of Health and Human Services and just shut up about it already 3. Entry: like   Pronunciation:  like Old Definition (1) to please, to be agreeable to, to thrive; i.e., “President Obama says if you like your health care, you can keep it.” New Definition (1) to please the HHS, to be agreeable with the HHS, to thrive at the HHS; i.e., “President Obama says you like your health care" (2) obsolete use: having to do with previous health care coverage 4. Entry: transparent   Pronunciation:  trans-pear-ant Old Definitions (1) open to examination, frank, candid, easily understood, very clear, (2) obsolete use: traditional method of legislating in the House New Definitions (2) all acts which occur in the speaker’s office behind closed doors (this application is mandatory), (2) all Democratic health care legislation considered in the U.S. House of Representatives, (3) this week’s House schedule 5. Entry: briefing   Pronunciation:  bree-fing. Old Definition (1) a meeting at which a detailed plan of action, especially by the military or intelligence services, is explained to persons of consequence New Definition (1) a meeting that never happened, at which no plans were explained at all, and quit asking.