The Prowl: Sleeping Your Way to the Top
I have a crush on a Hill staffer. This is something I would never do anything about, as I’m still fairly enraptured by my nice investment banker (who is visiting this weekend and who’s arrival I’m more than a little excited about), but I nonetheless need to admit to myself, and evidently the readers of FrumForum, that this certain Hill staffer is pretty dreamy. By this, of course, I mean that he can speak procurement to me, which I am certain is how he woos all the girls.
"Where is she going with this?" you might ask, given that I have no intention of actually acting on said crush and don’t feel this is any sort of commentary on the state of my current relationship. You dear reader may feel otherwise, but I frankly don’t care that much. In discussing with my coworker though (who is mostly of the frame of mind that I should keep him around for a rainy day, so to speak) we entered into the ethically dubious zone of staffer-lobbyist relations.
There’s one female lobbyist who’s rumored on the Hill for sleeping her way into power and prominence for the sake of her clients. I suppose this is one way to get that Dear Colleague letter out of an office, but not exactly how I would do it. Her two-sizes-too-small suits and exorbitant amount of cleavage don’t do very much to cultivate an aura of respectability. The way she physically presents herself does very little to tell the world that she is a serious person. This is underscored by the lack of subtlety in what she’s doing, acknowledging that she has so little substance that she needs to rely on her sexual prowess to get things accomplished.
I’m not saying that all women need to adopt the Hillary Clinton approach of Nehru jackets or need to de-feminize themselves somehow to be credible, but there’s definitely an acceptable way to comport yourself so as not to come off as skanky or morally flexible (it’s also helpful in this approach to not actually be skanky or morally flexible in addition to not looking the part). I could discuss at length what this all says about gender dynamics on the Hill or changing norms in female sexuality, but those are largely irrelevant for the moment.
I tell the story of the scandal-laden lobbyist mostly because this is a female that I would never want to emulate, ever. She’s an extreme example but it does lead to the question of when would it be okay to be involved with someone working for a member?
The Hill staffer who is currently a source of much office entertainment given the amount of contracting-related sexual innuendo that’s been flying about (he wants to find my HubZone) is someone that I work with, and will likely need to continue to work with on behalf of a client headquartered in his boss' state. I would be very wary of jeopardizing this in any way whether from the vengeful ire of a relationship gone wrong or a perception of currying favor.
At the same time, this is also someone that I do know socially, which of course then blurs the lines of professionalism that I’m trying so hard to maintain. I should hope that he would be helpful with our current work matter regardless of circumstance, but I’m also somewhat sure that he’s a little extra helpful because it’s a favor to a friend -- one he’s interested in seeing with fewer clothes on (coincidentally, this is why people hire lobbyists).
I have yet to really reach any kind of resolution on this. Thankfully, it’s also a moot point from a practical standpoint as while Hill staffer can whisper in my ear about GSA scheduling, I still much prefer my nice banker and how I would like to be his derivative so I can lie tangent to his curves.