The Prowl: Most Original D.C. Pick-Up Lines
During a dinner last weekend, a guy at the table took my hand and announced that I had really pretty eyes. A cheesy move, yes, but it worked.
In the midst of a dinner last weekend, the nice young man I was eating with took my hand under the table and announced that I had really pretty eyes. While this was a remarkably cheesy move, I have to admit it was also simultaneously smooth (and unexpected from a guy who is otherwise a bit on the awkward side). I blushed and got all flummoxed at the time, but many many points were awarded, because, yes, there is a score. The next day when he called me to tell me he had a really nice time (!) and wanted to see me again (!!) and actually suggested when we might do that (!!!) I also agreed that the previous evening had been really great and that yes, we should do it again.
After we hung up, I thought about some of the other creative lines that I have heard of late. While the eyes comment was decidedly not the most creative, it's charm derived from the man who made it (it felt sincere, spontaneous, and not like a "line"). And of course it was flattering--and who doesn't like that? So here are my top 5, rated for originality--not necessarily success:
5. "Does beauty have a name?" I'm not kidding. As with the eyes comment, I am a little ashamed to say that this actually worked, but he was pretty hot and Italian, so I suppose coming off as a sappy romantic was allowable in this case. I was reading a book in an outdoor cafe, enjoying my coffee and the loveliness that is D.C. in the summer (I say this semi-sarcastically), and he walked up to talk to a guy at the table next to mine. He turned to me after a moment and said "Does beauty have a name?" He went on to stand me up, twice.
4. "Can I have your doughnut?" 3AM on U Street is perhaps not the best time or place to try to meet a nice girl, or really any kind of girl. It is time to go home because if you have not yet made a friend for the night, the chances that you will randomly encounter one you are not willing to monetarily compensate on the street are minimal. This of course does not mean that people do not try. I am not entirely certain where I got the doughnut, but for whatever reason, I was walking back to a female friend's apartment in Columbia Heights with several people after what had been perhaps an overly exuberant night. Some guy stopped me and asked if he could have a piece of my doughnut. Not being in the mood to share, I told him he should find his own. He gave me a drunken lecture on how he's a really nice guy and I should just share with him anyway. Then, we could maybe try sharing other things, such as phone numbers and bodily fluids.
3. "Would you like some water?" My favorite part of the day is walking too and from my office, weather/time permitting. This takes me about half an hour, but it is a nice way to prepare for and unwind from the day with some music and fresh air. One day last spring on my way home a man stopped me in Penn Quarter and asked me if I would like some of his water. A bit confused, I told him I was fine, but thank you. He replied, "It's just that you look really hot." This got a smile, but not the phone number he tried for next.
2. "Are you writing wedding invitations?" As with #5, I was sitting in an outdoor cafe when I heard this particular gem. At the time I was taking an introductory Spanish class so I was writing vocabulary on white index cards. The tall, dark, and handsome man sitting next to me leaned over and asked me if I was writing out wedding invitations. I showed him my ring-less hand and explained that no, they were just flashcards. He clarified that where he was from, the bridesmaids write the invitations rather than the bride so this was a perfectly valid question. I suppose it did work though: I dated the wedding invitation man for over a year. He didn't though get my number that day; he didn't even ask for it. He said later when I asked why he never tried to get my number that day that he had a "long term strategy." After that first meeting, I started running into him all of the time, all over the city until eventually he suggested we move from coffee to more adult beverages.
1. "You should thank your mother." I was at the rooftop bar at the W Hotel for a happy hour and the friends I was meeting there were running late. I had expected this and turned up about twenty minutes late already, but evidently that was not good enough. Not to be deterred, I sat down at the bar and ordered a drink and began fiddling with my Blackberry while I waited. After all, how can you possibly look like a loser alone at a bar if you appear important and busy? (I am not being serious). As I waited, a much older gentleman sat down next to me, told the bartender he wanted whatever I had and it should go on his tab. He mused that a girl as pretty as I should not be alone on a Thursday evening in a bar. I blushed a little, thanked him, introduced myself, and tried to make polite conversation. We chatted about stupid BS until I finally saw my friends coming off the elevator. I thanked him again for the drink and told him that it had been a pleasure to meet him. He smiled and said, "Honey, you really should thank your mother one day." I asked him why he thought so, as I can think of a few good reasons but none that he would really be aware of, and he said, "You should thank her for giving you good genes. You really won the genetic lottery."
Honorable mentions:
- The guy who serenaded me at a Georgetown bar and then professed his love for his ex-girlfriend but asked if we could sleep together anyway.
- The guy at Bourbon who stopped me on my way back from the bathroom to play credit card roulette at his table with quite a large bill.
- The guy at some Capital Club party (it's so unclear why I go to this nonsense; it might be my secret desire to wear pearls most of the time) who asked me why I was drinking Pellegrino, when I was in fact drinking gin.
The point of all this (if there really is one aside from my love of list-making) is that it seems to me that the success or failure of the pick-up line is purely contextual and not so much even about the line itself. While humor is always good and at least in my case schmaltz can be just as effective, at the end of the day, these were merely ways to begin a conversation. This may in part explain my relative ensorcellment with last weekend's dinner date who had such complimentary remarks on my eyes...