The Prowl: Dress To Impress, Not Distress

So it is summertime in DC. How do I know this? The obvious answer is that it is a billion degrees and I would like to spend all of my time enjoying beverages on a terrace (until I get eaten alive by mosquitos and then want to hibernate in an air-conditioned haven). The less obvious answer, though, is that there is a lot of "fashion" -- or at least, more than usual -- in the city.

This conclusion should be somewhat telling for those of us who live here year-round as DC has generally been thought of as a mecca for pleated pants and poorly fitting suits more so than any contribution to trend-setting style. Just look at Rahm Emmanuel or Hillary Clinton's obsession with Nehru jackets and chunky jewelry.

I fully recognize that living in a swamp with 90 degree temperatures does not make dressing for the workplace an easy task. Nevertheless, I strongly feel we can all try a little harder.

Ladies: Earlier today I had to have a very uncomfortable discussion with our summer intern about her attire, specifically her decision to wear plastic shoes.  She also cannot write in complete sentences and insists on calling our senior partner by his first name. I should have thought it was evident that if your shoes are made of the same material as Tupperware, they are probably inappropriate. I suggested this to her, adding that perhaps she should wear longer skirts that are not a size too small. Again, I appreciate that it really is unpleasantly hot out, and you can argue that as an intern she does not make enough money to buy an entire dress, but, she is not exactly on the right path to a glowing letter of recommendation or into the bed of some staff assistant who thinks she is dreamy.

Gentleman: I do appreciate that wearing a suit in the summertime cannot possibly be pleasant. It's just for this reason that Washington offices are air-conditioned to tundra-like temperatures. Given that, I can think of zero reasons to wear seersucker. Yes, it is a light and breezy fabric. It still looks dumb for those of us not on a plantation sipping a mint julep. Plus, it wrinkles like I cannot describe, is ruined with the slightest drop of coffee or any other liquid substance, and looks ridiculous with really any footwear choice. Working in DC is not exactly like a scene out of All the Kings Men, and understanding this difference will likely greatly help advance your professional careers and also your chances with the fairer sex moving forward.

You say clothing is a personal expression? Fine -- within limits. But abandoning flip-flops is not a philosophical hardship. Think of it as a courtesy to those of us who don't want to see dirty feet or meet a Hill staffer who looks like he has dressed for clown school.