The Headlines Review
Napoleon Linardatos presents a humorous take on today’s headlines.
“Lack of Medicare Appointee Puzzles Congress”
-New York Times, 8.17.09
It is now believed that the Obama administration has depleted the ranks of Americans who are willing to have the word "czar" in their job title.
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“Tom DeLay Contestant On 'Dancing With The Stars' Season Nine”
-Huffington Post, 8.17.09
If the dance moves prove inadequate, Tom DeLay will filibuster his way to the finals.
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“Are the days of bad hospital food numbered?”
-em>National Post<, 8.19.09
Yes, if you are terminally ill.
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“How did model's accused killer get on TV show?”
-em>Los Angeles Times<, 8.22.09
He looked really photogenic in the police line up.
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“Germany fumbles with Obama-style election tactics”
-Reuters, 8.20.09
As a consequence of that, German politicians are besieged by a certain Jürgen-the-Plumber asking pesky questions about faucet handle subsidies.
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“Afghans vote as Taliban threats take toll”
-em>Financial Times<, 8.20.09
But the real bloodbath is expected when the Afghans start their own town hall meetings.
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“NASA May Outsource Amid Budget Woes”
-Wall Street Journal, 8.21.09
It will be the first time that spacesuits are made in sweatshops.
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“Iranian leader Ahmadinejad taps man wanted in Jewish center bombing for defense minister post”
-em>New York Daily News<, 8.21.09
State Department officials are concerned that this move will lessen the ambiguity and nuance in Ahmadinejad’s stance, evident in statements like this one: "Israel is a tyrannical regime that one day will be destroyed.”
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“'Six million British adults on benefits'”
-em>The Daily Telegraph<, 08.17.09
Never have so many got so much for doing so little.
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“John Cleese in £12 million divorce settlement”
-em>The Daily Telegraph<, 8.17.09
As the Monty Python star was writing the £12 million check he was heard humming “Always Look at the Bright Side of Life.”