The Fat Diaries: The Gym Membership Rip-Off
I’ve been seeing more and more articles up these days about how to lose weight in your own home; weights you can make from soup cans or water bottles and sand; exercises that will get your butt ready for the beach using only a chair and a towel; the top workout DVDs that get the best results. It was no surprise to me then when I read that the franchise Curves gym for women has been struggling. Their marketing has been blamed as a possible cause for their financial problems. But I think a large part of it is that America has newer priorities now.
People who once had the financial flexibility to be roped into a 5-year gym contract are now struggling to get out of them to free up some much needed cash. When you’re suddenly wondering how to stretch two pounds of hamburger for two meals this week, toned arms and washboard abs take a back seat. And of course, once bitten twice shy. Those of us unfortunate enough to have done battle with contracts know what a pain a gym membership can be in the first place -- unless you’re absolutely sure you can afford it.
I had joined a gym when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. The doctors said I was at a dangerous weight and should try to be more active so I joined a ladies’ gym, signed the ever-so-innocent one-year contract and worked out to my heart’s content. It lasted great until I started getting dizzy spells in my second trimester. I was working out too hard to stay hydrated (with the added strain of pregnancy) and I had to stop going. It was a pain but my husband and I resigned ourselves to paying the monthly fee. After all, there were only six months left until the gym contract would expire.
We were thrilled when our son was born and, after a few weeks, I was beginning to approach normal brain-functions and activity again. We did get one or two calls, like when we moved to another apartment in another county, asking about my gym membership and when would I feel like going again? I was patient and told them that I’d just been cut in half and had a baby removed from my torso, and not to hold their collective breaths. They gushed congratulations and wished me well and hoped to see me soon (riiiiight). I kept telling myself (three more months… two more months… one more month until my contract expires and we don't have to pay for this stupid gym anymore).
So imagine my surprise when the following May we get another bill from the gym. Attached to a much higher monthly fee was a rather larger one entitled “automatic renewal fee.” I felt my stomach plunge into my feet as I numbly dialed the number for their branch. Branch said to contact corporate. Corporate told me to contact branch and so on until I talked to someone in billing. They stated that somewhere in my seventeen-pages of contracts there was a tiny clause that gave them the right to renew my contract for me using the handy-dandy credit-card number I gave them. I was now roped into another twelve months of gym membership without hope of parole.
I told them I didn’t want another twelve months as I scarcely made use of the last twelve. The woman asked if I had a good reason for breaking the contract. I said I’d just had a baby and was too tired to work out. Not good enough. She reminded me that the gym provided care for infants and small children before beginning a prepared speech about how exercise would help me return to my pre-baby weight. I said I was ten pounds heavier pre-baby. Didn’t matter. She asked if I had a VALID reason. I said, that we’d moved, that I couldn’t make it out to Fairfax county. I didn’t even own a car. Not good enough. She argued that the contract stated that I must move to an area that was at least 30 miles away from a branch, and did I know that there was one branch only 29 miles away? I reminded her that I would have to walk those 29 miles, and if I were to walk 29 miles and back twice a week I’d scarcely have need for a gym. She refused. I was stuck she said plainly.
When people tell me things like that over the phone I just feel helpless. If they were in person, a horde of anger, pride and pure sarcasm would have swooped down like a flock of flying monkeys and carried me above my despair. On the phone, though, there’s nothing. I only felt a cold pit in my stomach when I hung up. We could no longer afford the monthly fees and our credit was catching up with us. I’d have to give up something else like lean beef, or humidifier filters or our bottom-of-the-line 30 channel cable for a stupid gym membership that I didn’t even want and couldn’t use.
Eventually my husband came to the rescue. I didn’t hear the conversation, but he emerged from the den, sweat on his brow, fire in his eyes and said, “I took care of it.” I’m forever grateful to him. Who knows, I might STILL be paying those people money. Or not. I remember going to our dentist who was at the same mini mall as that gym. When I walked past the gym, the windows were blackened and the door locked. I asked my dentist about the gym and found out that it had simply packed up and left. One weekend it was there, the next, everyone had gone. The equipment had been left as had the sign. I never found out why it had gone. I could speculate ‘til the cows come home, and of course I take pleasure over the more macabre theories. I’ve heard more than a few accounts of gyms that disappear like some sweaty Brigadoon, taking with it membership fees and the cash from the vending machines.
As I write this now, I realize that my transforming weight loss was in part due to exercise, but it wasn’t exercise that came from a contract or an elliptical machine. There are average everyday actions that get the blood pumping and the muscles working. If anyone is rolling their eyes right now, I dare them to carry a floor-model vacuum cleaner up a flight of stairs and not break a sweat. That’s exercise. Cleaning the house is exercise. Running in the park with your kids is exercise. Carrying in the groceries is exercise. Taking a brisk walk is exercise. Sex is exercise. There are thousands of little actions we can do every day to help us be fit and healthy as long as we’re up and moving. AND IT’S FREE!
For every hour I spent running around a table trying to tickle a kid, or lugging laundry up the stairs, I found I could do more activities and that the ones I was doing were now easier. I never dreamed I could run from the car to the playground without running out of breath, but I can now. I never thought I could walk around the circumference of Ida Lee park, but I can! Hell, the first day I could walk up the stairs without panting was a victory. These little exercises every day have made far more difference to me than any personal trainer or the most advanced weight machine known to man. I might not have the tone or muscle mass of a body-builder, but I’m healthier, I have more energy and, best of all, I’m not broke.
