The Fat Diaries: America's Hydration Craze
I’m a coffee junkie. I love coffee – no – I NEED coffee to function. It wasn’t always the case; I was a tea-drinker for most of my life; but two weeks after the first kid was born and I was running on 4 hours of sleep a day, the coffee maker invariably found its way out of the pile of unopened wedding presents. Fast-forward to today, where I’m running after 2 toddlers every morning and that carafe is a permanent fixture in my life. I have a brushed metal thermos, which travels around the house with me full of coffee (milk, no sugar), from which I drink all day. I’m always paranoid that we’re running out to the point where I sound like Barney Gumble from the Simpsons, “I think we should get more coffee. After this canister…and the canister after that…there’s only one canister left!”
Of course I’ve been scolded and ridiculed for my caffeine addiction, and not all the interlopers were Mormons either. They all tell me that I’m killing myself, that my heart is beating at the rate of a hummingbird, and that I’ve developed a nasty twitch under my left eye, blah blah blah. Most of all, they say I’m dehydrating myself. Instead of drinking coffee, I should be drinking water. LOTS of water.
I hate water. I’ve always hated water. There are a couple of factors for this; when I was a kid, we didn’t really have filtered water. In fact I had never heard of it until we moved to England where the tap water tasted like run-off from a carwash. Even then, I was never too keen on it, especially when my acid reflux developed. I know water is an important tool in the battle against dehydration, but even on my thirstiest day I tend to slug the offending beverage back like a double whiskey.
While trying to combat my obesity I read article after article about the importance of hydration. They would always trot out the familiar edict of “8 x 8”, or eight glasses of 8 ounces of water every day (8 oz by the way is about one standard measurement cup). It’s a daunting prospect. The only times I ever followed it was when I was pregnant, or when I was working outdoors in Florida as a janitor. I didn’t like drinking all that water. I had heartburn, I had to pee every twenty minutes and every time I moved I sloshed. So what was the deal? Wasn’t I supposed to feel invigorated?
And you know what’s the most frustrating part? Although many websites claimed 8 x 8 as gospel truth, not one could quote a source! Run a search on Google or Bing and you’ll get hundreds of articles all stating some version of, “An estimated 75% of Americans are dehydrated, which leaves them at risk for dizziness, fainting spells, kidney stones and hospitalization... For the longest time science/medicine has linked overeating to dehydration… A dehydrated body will send signals to the brain which the brain misinterprets as a plea for food.” There was hardly any difference in the phrasing! I’m completely flummoxed! Where did all these facts come from? Who says 8 x 8?
Well according to Dartmouth Medical School physician Heinz Valtin, there is no scientific precedence for the 8 x 8 rule! He claims it was a misinterpretation of the Food and Nutrition Board of the National Research Council’s (FNBNRC) suggestion that 1 milliliter of water be consumed for every calorie of food. For most diets of about 1,900 calories, that equals 64 oz, or 8 cups. Quoth Valtin, "[it's] difficult to believe that evolution left us with a chronic water deficit that needs to be compensated by forcing a high fluid intake.” Acciording to Valtin, what people glossed over was that the FNBNRC stated (in the very next sentence, no less) that most of the required water exists already in our food and drink like: coffee, tea and soda, fruits veg, and other foods.
Wait–even coffee, soda, and tea? That goes against everything that was pounded into my head as a kid! In fact all the websites toting the 8 x 8 rule always state that coffee doesn’t count! Most will even go so far as to suggest that for every caffeinated beverage you consume, drink an extra glass of water. Dear God! I found an “Online Water Calculator,” which claimed to be able to find your more “accurate hydration needs,” by asking eleven questions about my lifestyle: “Are you pregnant? How much do you weigh? How many minutes do you exercise?” (They didn’t specify whether it was per-day or per-week so there’s some suspicion right there.) At the end of the test it suggested that I needed to not drink eight 8oz glasses, but TWELVE. Not including caffeinated beverages. It said to add one glass for every glass of coffee, tea, soda, or bowl of soup. At the current count I’d be drinking about 18 glasses a day. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Barbara Rolls, professor of nutrition sciences at Penn State University, states that there's "no evidence that people are chronically dehydrated." She adds that "hunger and thirst are controlled by separate systems in the body," and mistaking the urges for hunger are unlikely. She says the key to consuming fewer calories is to consume "water-rich foods" as opposed to water alone. That being said, Rolls gave no clue as to how much water to drink instead! She simply said to "just drink when you are thirsty and have a drink with every meal." Great. So I still have no freaking clue.
Even the Mayo Clinic’s website won’t defer from the 8 x 8 rule but admits that caffeinated beverages, contrary to popular belief are not dehydrating! But drinking more than 4-7 cups (depending on the person) would be a mistake because they are diuretics. Large amounts would cause you to void more water than you retain. Which means, that while the coffee isn’t going to dry me out, I can’t drink my usual 2 pots with no other fluids and expect to stay hydrated.
Finally, after I was online looking for a quotable source until well past midnight, I found a quote by Jurgen Schnermann, a kidney physiologist at the National Institutes of Health. He stated that an average-sized adult in temperate weather with functioning kidneys need no more than 1.5 liters of additional fluid. approx 50 oz. or 6 cups of water. Which sounds more reasonable.
So it looks like I’m still stuck with water, less water, but still water. Well, despite my hatred for water at least I can resign myself to being fashionable. Water bottles have never been more chic (or well priced) as the avalanche of products that have stormed the market. Water bottles with built in filters in the lids start around $10 and, really cute brushed metal thermoses start at $6 (or you can use your freebie from CPAC).
Several sites suggest I flavor my water with lime or ginger (like I’m the kind of person to buy limes, cut them up, keep the rest in a Ziploc baggy and use them all before they go brown). Instead I use a dash of cocktail bitters to flavor mine. It’s actually kind of nice. I also like my water better when it’s filtered and ice cold. But unless I’m planning a day out, I just keep a cup next to the sink. When I need a drink I just knock it back like a grad student.
With this hydration craze (which coincides with the “phasing out of disposable plastic bottles” craze) there is one thing to keep in mind: there is such a thing as water poisoning/ hyper-hydration and people with kidney problems should take care with self-hydration. The given rule for hydration is 8oz per hour. That’s all the human body can absorb in an hour, the rest is voided (you can absorb more if you’re exercising). Oh! And leave the Gatorade to the athletes.
