The Chronic(le) Of Michael Phelps

For those currently living under a rock, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps had his picture taken smoking pot in Columbia, SC.

I am (a) in law school, (b) in Columbia, SC, which has made me, (c) follow the Michael Phelps pot ordeal closely, and (d) know a bunch of people who swear their sister’s roommate was totally at that party.

Local law enforcement made crystal clear when the story broke that they were considering maybe doing something. Then, in an effort to bring Phelps to justice, they fearlessly arrested 8 people who may have, actually, totally been at that party in order to find out the truth (read: get witnesses for trial). These arrests and interrogations are surely going something like this: “You had pot on you when we arrested you; if you get on the stand and say you saw the Human Dolphin smoking weed, you can walk.”

When all this started, it seemed completely hilarious to me: here you have THE Beijing Olympics superstar come to, of all places, Columbia, only to take a bong hit seen ‘round the world! What a moron! What fun!

But now I don’t think it’s funny anymore.

South Carolina is in the process of making its deepest budget cuts ever, and eight college potheads have been arrested, had their houses searched, been interrogated, and may stand trial. This is to say nothing of what will happen if Phelps gets charged. He will pay top dollar for a coterie of our best lawyers who will climb inside and out of every investigation, warrant, stop, arrest, search, interrogation, and charge to punch holes in the state’s case. This would cost the state potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars.

People forget that most of the Prohibition’s War on Booze happened during the Great Depression, a time when there was considerably less money going around than there is now. Sociologists no doubt have books full of reasons why increasingly-poorer people paid taxes to support such an endeavor, but my bet is people mostly just enjoyed a distraction that made them feel like they lived in a moral society.

To be clear, Phelps’ smoking pot sent kids a really bad message: you can do drugs and still be wildly successful. For his sake, let’s hope his contritions are real, and for young people, they are a real lesson. Further, and most importantly, a broader war on harder drugs can help keep more of the real poisons like cocaine and heroin out of our communities.

But if there was ever going to be a time when we should actually look hard at the wastefulness of the criminalization of marijuana, it’s now. States should, if only for a trial period during the recession, relax the laws on pot and spend the money elsewhere. If that doesn’t work, they can always tighten the laws back.

But I wouldn’t be surprised if laxer laws stayed. Then, maybe, we could focus on more important things like national security, education, and getting some better role models than a pothead in Speedo swimwear.