Politicians and Privacy

Before the next sex scandal, the press should look at Jonathan Rauch's classic article on how to report on politicians' marriages.

Jonathan Rauch wrote the classic article on how to report (not) on politicians' marriages - and really everybody's marriages - back in 2001.

Adultery is socially dangerous. But, while you don't want to condone it, you can't eradicate it. The answer is a Chinese box of rules. For public consumption--that is, what we tell the children--the rule is: Never, never, never! But the real rule is: If you absolutely must fool around, keep it out of sight. Within that rule is a still more subtle one: If you pretend not to do it, we'll pretend not to notice. At some point, of course, word may seep out. Then what? Here yet another rule kicks in: If the cuckolded spouse either doesn't know or pretends not to know, then no hanky-panky is going on--no sirree!

You have here a magnificent contraption. It reduces adultery by requiring that it be kept out of sight, which greatly inconveniences adulterers. Better still, it empowers cuckolded spouses--especially women--by letting them be the ones to decide just how much hanky-panky is too much. If a woman wants to tolerate her husband's infidelity for the sake of marriage or children, she can do so without losing face. But when enough is enough, she can blow the whistle and the shocked and amazed community can aver that it has never seen such a scoundrel as her husband.

Rereading Rauch after any lapse of time always reminds me of James Thurber's complaint that there was no point in him writing anything: he would always discover after the fact that Robert Benchley had written the same thing only better back in 1924.