Letting Your Kids Make Their Own Mistakes

Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie responds to a reader wondering if its too late for her to still give her 20-something son advice.

Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie gives advice to a reader worried that her 20-something son's girlfriend may send him to the poorhouse.  Should she give them advice?  Or is it too late for her to weigh in?  The reader writes:

My son, who is in his mid-20s, is living with his girlfriend. He has always been a good-natured, conscientious fellow with an impressive ability to save money. She, as an only child, has been doted on by her parents, and has been treated as a bit of a princess. Still, they are a good couple and I am glad they are together.

But lately some red flags have gone up. My son confided that he has accumulated a credit card debt of about $10,000, and that his girlfriend has nearly $30,000 in student loan debt. My son is working at a minimum-wage job and supporting her while she finishes her degree.

They live in a small apartment and in the last year they have acquired a dog and a cat – at her insistence. She is in major nesting mode: I know what’s next, and it wears diapers. During one recent visit they told me that they are looking at homes. It was all I could do not to throw a bucket of cold water at them.

He is already putting his career second so that she can get her degree. Oh, and she’s just announced that she’s now thinking of going after her PhD.

Do I speak up or shut up? Do I let my son continue to be a doormat or do I give him a shake?

Click here to read Eddie's advice.