Help! My Office Mate is a Freeloader
Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie hears from a reader who's co-worker can't stop mooching off him. Is there a way to deal with this freeloader and keep things civil in the office?
The reader writes:
I’m forty-something and work in a sea of cubicles. My cube-mate is a fresh-from-university male grad, mid-twenties. The thing is: he's a mooch. At first, it was the odd Kleenex.
Then it was frequent Kleenex usage, without asking. Then the daily inquiry if I have gum. Then: “Can I borrow your hand cream?” A minute ago he asked if I had crackers, then “confessed” he saw some in my cupboard. Sometimes I tell him I have no gum, even though I do. But he catches me chewing, then asks for some. If I hide my hand cream, he'll see me using it, then pounce. Now my cubicle buddy has added spying. He peeks at my screen.
“What are you working on?” He just asked me to divulge details of a private conversation with a co-worker. What should I do, apart from being blunt and telling him I'm not his mother?
Eddie's advice:
I'm always telling my wife there are two types in this world: interest-based organisms (pursue their interests in a relatively guilt-free environment), and guilt-based organisms.
Like you, she belongs in the latter category. All anybody has to do is ask her for some kind of favour and the guilt-wheels start turning in her dome.
It could be anything. “Could you wash my dog while I'm in Aruba?” “Would you grab some pink paint and help me throw a fresh coat on my nursery?” “Could I borrow your car to bring some fresh-killed hogs back from the market?”
Then she'll be all: Arggh, agonize, I don't feel like it, but this person really seems to need my help, what do I do, Dave, yadda yadda yadda. Ultimately, she does the favour.
That's because, like you, she is a decent, kind, charitable, giving human being.
Or, as we used to call your kind when I lived in New York: a sucker. ...
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