Help! I Can't Get Over My Cheating Hubby
Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie hears from a reader who can't stop caring about her lying, cheating, no-good husband.
The reader writes:
I’ve just found out my husband of 25 years cheated on me. His girlfriend’s creepy husband pestered me by e-mail. My husband denied it, and I believed him. But when the creep sent me a picture of them kissing, my husband admitted to a three-year relationship. He says they had sex once and he stopped contacting her when I got cancer. I’d been busy getting a degree – not to mention raising our kids and keeping house. But my husband says I wasn’t there while I went to school. And he won’t go to counselling. Meanwhile, I’m thinking of running for office, but I’m afraid the creep will try to embarrass me. Why would people vote for a woman who didn’t know her husband was cheating? I want to tell the party but I’m afraid of embarrassing my husband. Dave, why should I care about a cheater? Because I still do.
Eddie's advice:
I feel for you. I imagine it’d be awful to find out you’ve been cheated on even once – let alone for three solid years.
But there are a few unsettling aspects to your question. For one, the lies. I mean, I know lies come with the turf when you’re talking about adultery.
But your credulity regarding those lies is a bit of a red flag, too. Your husband tells you one whopper after another, lies as bald as Vin Diesel, and only confessed when confronted with photographic evidence of his malfeasance. But you still believe him when he tells you a nose-stretcher like they only had sex once over the course of a three-year affair?
And where’s his remorse? Nowhere in your question does it mention him being sorry or promising not to do it again. Rather, it sounds like a) he kind of blames you and b) isn’t willing to make even a minimal gesture in the direction of reparations.
Meanwhile, it’s the mistress’s hubby whom you call a “creep.” Take a moment and consider that statement: You find your husband’s girlfriend’s husband “creepy.” Anything seem odd about that? ...
Click here to read the rest.