Help! A Friend Overheard Me Dissing His Parenting

David Eddie hears from a reader who was ripping a co-worker's parenting skills and fears they may have overheard her.

Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie hears from a reader who was ripping a co-worker's parenting skills and fears they may have overheard her.  The reader writes:

One of my spouse's workmates – someone who was instrumental in getting him into the company – has a daughter with a speech impediment. During a recent conference call, when everyone had left for a smoke break, my husband and I started discussing probable causes of the little girl's situation – e.g. maybe her parents didn't spend enough time talking to her as a baby. Most of the things that came out of our mouths shed a bad light on their parenting skills. I ended the conversation saying, “You can make lots of money, but that doesn't mean you'll have everything perfect in life.” A few minutes later, my husband realized that his microphone was still on! We're worried that his workmate heard everything. He hasn't mentioned anything yet, but we're on edge here – especially since his boss has invited everyone's families to an upcoming dinner.

Eddie responds:

Okay, I'm going to try to focus on the positive here.

Um … well, it's great you don't smoke! Actually, in this case maybe it would be better if you did: None of this would have happened.

Now, I understand you were speaking with an expectation of privacy, that under the auspices of inter-spousal chitchat we sometimes express thoughts and feelings we would never admit – we would be ashamed to admit – to the world in general.

I know my wife and I can get a little snarky, even catty, when we believe what we say is strictly entre nous.

But madam: Blaming some poor kid's speech impediment on her parents, speculating they didn't “talk to her enough,” enters into another realm altogether. It's ignorant, arrogant, and I would even go so far as to say pretty callous, to boot.

(Terrible timing, too, what with The King's Speech just winning a bunch of Oscars and raising everyone's consciousness about speech impediments.) And since you were talking about someone who helped land your husband his job, and threw in that crack about his high-bracket cash flow, I think it's fair to add “ungrateful” and “envious” to the list of unattractive qualities on display here. ...

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