Dick Cheney's Child and Mine

Recently our older son told us he was gay. He also confided that he voted for Obama because he views the Democratic Party as being more compassionate regarding social issues.

Recently our older son told us he was gay. I have to be perfectly honest that my aspirations for my son did not include him turning out to be gay. However, as a mother who loves him dearly I want people to accept him for being a person who is gay -- not a gay person. He has now confided in me that he voted for Obama because he views the Democratic Party as being more compassionate regarding social issues. I light-heartedly told him that I could live with him being gay but not being an Obama Democrat. We continued our discussion and he asked me to write this article because as a Republican I stand with former Vice-President Cheney who stated, “people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish. Any kind of arrangement they wish… I do believe that historically the way marriage has been regulated is at the state level.” Why do I believe in gay marriage? On a personal note, as a mother, I want my son to find someone who he can spend the rest of his days with in a loving, long lasting relationship. After informing some of my Republican friends about my support of gay marriage, I got the gamut of reactions from “so what” to “gay marriage is simply not right.”   There were numerous reasons given by my Republican friends for being against gay marriage which I hope to counter in this article. Some Republicans believe that civil unions should reinforce the rights of gay and lesbian couples. They told me “if a person got sick, they should be allowed to have visitors close to them.” Some went further, stating “there are those who should be allowed to make health care decisions for each other or be allowed to be put on each other’s insurance policy.” My response to them was that by accepting civil unions you are recognizing gay couples (except if you happen to live in Iran.) By being in support of civil unions there is the undeniable recognition of domestic partnerships. Therefore, civil unions promote “gay families.” Then why not call it marriage? Other Republicans pointed out that the Bible prohibits homosexual activity and does not accept it as a lifestyle. I cannot accept that premise considering the fact that the Bible talks about other archaic practices such as stoning and polygamy. It seems to me that people choose to follow certain parts of the Bible while ignoring others. I want my son to continue to be a part of our religion and not to be turned away because of his beliefs or lifestyle. For me, the reality of religions is that everyone chooses to pick what they will follow from the Sacred Text. There are those Republicans I spoke with who felt that marriage as a sacred institution would be destroyed. Which is more sacred: Britney Spears drunkenly marrying someone in Vegas and divorcing 24 hours later or my son marrying the person he loves for the rest of their lives? Personally, I think marriage is an individual choice, making it a states rights issue. This is why I believe that state laws should include a provision spelling out that any religious person or judge should not be forced to officiate a gay marriage if they believe it goes against their freedom of religion or civil liberty. I think it is a myth to believe that gay marriage weakens society because gay partners support and sustain each other no differently than heterosexual couples. The Supreme Court has made it clear that each state should be allowed to enforce its own rules regarding marriage. For example some states have different age requirements for marriage. Just recently there was a poll where Los Angeles voters supported the right of same sex couples to legally marry with 58% in favor and 37% opposed. For me, this means that eventually more states will legalize it and hopefully in my son’s time it will be a non-issue. What do I want for my son regarding this issue? I would have wished he felt that the Republicans could make him feel comfortable, to be more open minded and compassionate about this issue. I want him to find someone who he is committed to and who is committed to him. I want him to have a relationship that is loving and sustainable. I want him to have the maximum liberty possible, especially in whom he chooses to marry. Finally, I don’t want his homosexuality to define who he is or is not. I wish for my son what the Vice-President’s daughter Mary Cheney so eloquently stated to FrumForum.com, “my responsibility is to be the best person I can be - including living my life openly and honestly. That’s what I have done.”