Can I Kick Out My Brother-in-Law?

David Eddie hears from a reader who's brother-in-law is always crashing at her home. Can she remove the welcome mat?

Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie hears from a reader who's brother-in-law is always crashing at her home.  Does she have to let him stay?

The reader asks:

My husband and I are 30 and live in our own place downtown. Lately, any time we go out of town, my husband’s younger brother asks to “crash at our place.” He lives with his parents, so it is understood that he stays at our place so he can spend time with girls (he says they “bring their own sheets”) and have other friends over. Although I don’t really think anybody will steal or damage anything, I feel uncomfortable having him/them stay in our place for days at a time without us. I feel that my home is a private place that I pay for and that if he wants to enjoy himself, he is welcome to get a hotel room. My husband thinks I am being unreasonable. Am I obligated to let him stay?

Eddie responds:

First of all, of course everyone likes to think of their house as a refuge for those in need of a temporary roof. Truly, one of the joys of having a house is being able to offer shelter to someone who needs one – especially family members.

Early in my marriage, I put up (with) one of my wife’s brothers for six months, when the lad needed a place to stay. And it was my great joy to do so. Until, after being fed and housed for over half a year, he chewed me out for eating some of “his” peanut butter. Then alarm bells started ringing. “Brrrrrringggg! It’s bag-packing time!”

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