Are Canadians Less Patriotic than Americans?

Where are the crowds of cheering citizenry?  Where are the school children, laughing and waving little flags?

Canadian journalist Guy Crittenden replies:

D-Day, Shmee-Day. I believe that these photos are from the annual Canadian military parade celebrating the Loyalist victory over the Americans in the War of 1812 -- a war that is not emphasized in American history text books, for obvious reasons. At the end of the war (which we sometimes call the Great War, not to be confused with the other major war we won with help from the English and the French, for which the Americans took credit) we controlled vast stretches of what is now called New England (the name of which, on its own, tells you something). Being a non-barbarous people, after defeating you we agreed to an enlightened peace treaty in which we gave back some of the territory we had conquered from the losers (i.e., the Americans). Unlike your gloating imperial culture, we organize our triumphant parades as rather low-key affairs, in much the same way as a top tennis player might say something like "Good show, old chap" to the fellow whose hand he's shaking at the net, after demolishing him 6-0 in three straight sets. To be honest, the hiding we gave you back then has become a bit of a bore and we no longer come out in large numbers to rejoice. When you're Number One (as we are) you don't have to shout it from the rooftops. Over time, we recognized that our immature brother to the south -- so new to (and excited about) "democracy" -- could be contracted to do the dirty work of military campaigns and economic brinksmanship around the world on our behalf. We let the Americans wear egg on their faces and brashly take credit for various conquests, while we quietly enjoy the benefits, sip gin and tonic and play croquet, and sell you a bit of oil now and again when we need more cash, from the vast underground reserves we were so smart to protect during the War of 1812, allowing you to keep the vast stretches of worthless scrub land that you still hold dear and are prepared to die for.

So that, my friend, is what the parade and the photos are all about. Some day, remind me to tell you how the White House got its name...

Guy Crittenden is an award-winning environmental journalist and edits the industry magazines HazMat Management and Solid Waste & Recycling.

Originally posted at STORMBRINGER.